instead of a text response, adam's phone will light up with an incoming call from ronan lynch. and, if adam picks up, the first thing he'll hear from ronan is: ]
[ silence reigns on ronan's end for a second too long — as he tries to figure out how not to say that adam's never the back-up plan, he's the first thing (or one of the first things) ronan thinks about when he wakes up, usually because adam was probably featured in his dreams at some point, and the things he said about gansey and noah, while technically true, were just excuses to hang out with adam without seeming weird — before he says, ]
What did I say about not being a dumbass, Parrish?
[ it's not his fault! what else is he supposed to think? he may suspect all he wants but that doesn't make it true. that ronan doesn't act on it is a big indicator to adam that it's probably just some phase. he's never gonna be the one, he's starting to accept that now. ]
[ whatever. adam thinks too much as it is, so maybe he should just cut it out altogether.
at any rate, ronan says "cool" instead of goodbye before he hangs up. he gets ready and is out the door in ten minutes flat, folding himself into the bmw and heading to the church. he can't tell if the thrumming in his veins is the car or his own restless energy. he cranks up the music until he can't feel the too fast beating of his heart.
when he gets there, he rolls up to where, presumably, adam is waiting for him. ]
[ he never knows what to make of ronan and just stares at the phone for several long seconds like he wasn't just basically hung up on before having the chance to say bye. not like it matters, he'll be seeing ronan shortly anyway.
it doesn't take him long to get ready. what does he need to do? nothing. so he winds up sitting at his cramped little desk. then sitting on his bed. the finally he just gives up and goes outside and sits on the curb in front of the church. adam doesn't bring his phone because he knows he'd be religiously checking it for the time. and that's just too much, even for him.
doesn't matter anyway since ronan is there soon enough and adam pushes off the ground, dusts himself off and heads to the car. slipping inside, he glances over to ronan with a completely deadpan look on his face as the seatbelt clicks into place (safety first with this hotrod!!). ]
[ as adam gets into the car, ronan has no doubt anymore that the restless energy is under his skin. it's amplified in adam's presence. maybe it has something to do with their shared connection to cabeswater, but it probably has more to do with just adam and the smell of pencil lead and fresh dirt and motor oil and shampoo he brings with him, and beneath that the smell of mist and moss. those are the things that make ronan's pulse pick up, a steady buzz in the background of his thoughts. a constant awareness of their closeness.
there's no objection to the seatbelt, obviously, even though ronan's not about to go racing through the streets with adam in the passenger seat. (unlike noah, adam is still very much alive and ronan very much wants to keep him that way.) no sooner has he heard the click than he's jerking the gear shift and peeling away from the curb. ]
Seriously? You sound like Gansey. [ he meant it as a jibe, but it falls short. ] There's only room enough for one of him in this world.
[ on the other side of things, adam pretends not to notice anything. it's easier this way, or so he thinks. the longer he remains oblivious to everything, the longer he puts off having to face his own honesty on the matter. mostly because it just leaves him running in circles. why does ronan look at him that way when he's not anything special? why would ronan even care about someone like him? maybe he doesn't. maybe it's all not real. maybe adam's just imagining it because he wants it to be real.
wouldn't that be something.
he leans back against the seat and lets out a sigh. logically he knows how ronan meant it, but logic doesn't always show up when it needs to. images flash through adam's mind that he doesn't want to see right now; it makes his stomach twist uncomfortably and he folds in on himself slightly. his knee bumps against the door and he audibly sighs as he turns his attention to look out the window at the world just passing him by. ]
Yeah.
[ it's a soft agreement. ronan's right, there is only room for one of him and before long there will be none. and it'll be all adam's fault. then what?
why can't he just make a joke to change the subject or lighten the mood instead of just sit here like a lump? absently, he rubs a hand over his knee. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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unless i don't want a door slammed in my face.
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We both know I'd still let you in.
Eventually.
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we both know i'm not the begging type.
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Who said anything about begging?
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well i'm sure as hell not going to sit outside your door in silence while i wait for you to let me in.
hate phone tagging so much omg
Just lay on the stairs, right?
and it hates you apparently
look. i probably wouldn't do that if i were sober.
cries about it
Probably??
there there
did i fucking stutter?
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Maybe. Hard to tell that kind of thing through text.
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instead of a text response, adam's phone will light up with an incoming call from ronan lynch. and, if adam picks up, the first thing he'll hear from ronan is: ]
You should know I don't stutter.
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nah he doesn't pick up. bye felicia. ]
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Maybe you developed one from the last time I saw you.
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What do you think?
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I think you're getting close to being pointlessly aggressive and I'm trying to not have that happen.
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Then don't be a dumbass. [ said with no actual heat. ] Are you working today?
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I'll try. [ said with the utmost of dry sarcasm. ] And no, not working.
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Good. Let's go somewhere. Gansey's being weird and Noah pulled his disappearing act, and I'm already getting bored.
[ it's not the whole truth, but it is part of it. ]
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So I'm just the back up plan.
[ talk about confidence issues. ]
Okay.
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What did I say about not being a dumbass, Parrish?
[ he blows out a breath. ]
I'll pick you up in twenty.
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Okay. I'll meet you outside.
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at any rate, ronan says "cool" instead of goodbye before he hangs up. he gets ready and is out the door in ten minutes flat, folding himself into the bmw and heading to the church. he can't tell if the thrumming in his veins is the car or his own restless energy. he cranks up the music until he can't feel the too fast beating of his heart.
when he gets there, he rolls up to where, presumably, adam is waiting for him. ]
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it doesn't take him long to get ready. what does he need to do? nothing. so he winds up sitting at his cramped little desk. then sitting on his bed. the finally he just gives up and goes outside and sits on the curb in front of the church. adam doesn't bring his phone because he knows he'd be religiously checking it for the time. and that's just too much, even for him.
doesn't matter anyway since ronan is there soon enough and adam pushes off the ground, dusts himself off and heads to the car. slipping inside, he glances over to ronan with a completely deadpan look on his face as the seatbelt clicks into place (safety first with this hotrod!!). ]
Your phone etiquette could use some work.
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there's no objection to the seatbelt, obviously, even though ronan's not about to go racing through the streets with adam in the passenger seat. (unlike noah, adam is still very much alive and ronan very much wants to keep him that way.) no sooner has he heard the click than he's jerking the gear shift and peeling away from the curb. ]
Seriously? You sound like Gansey. [ he meant it as a jibe, but it falls short. ] There's only room enough for one of him in this world.
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wouldn't that be something.
he leans back against the seat and lets out a sigh. logically he knows how ronan meant it, but logic doesn't always show up when it needs to. images flash through adam's mind that he doesn't want to see right now; it makes his stomach twist uncomfortably and he folds in on himself slightly. his knee bumps against the door and he audibly sighs as he turns his attention to look out the window at the world just passing him by. ]
Yeah.
[ it's a soft agreement. ronan's right, there is only room for one of him and before long there will be none. and it'll be all adam's fault. then what?
why can't he just make a joke to change the subject or lighten the mood instead of just sit here like a lump? absently, he rubs a hand over his knee. ]
Where are we going?
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