[ the idea that they could make something happen just by imagining it would've seemed absurd before — before gansey hovered his hand over a pool of silver fish and willed them to be red. maybe it wouldn't have seemed so absurd to ronan, who grew up with the extraordinary, the inexplicable; who's been able to take things from his dreams since he was three. but now it's something they all share, not just ronan's secret anymore.
however, he's pretty sure that whatever's going on between him and adam has less to do with ancient celtic magic and more to do with — hormones. or something. the normal, earthly laws of human attraction, even though sometimes when he looks at adam he seems anything but normal and earthly. he may have been born in the backwater with henrietta dirt under his nails, but he's so much more than that now. he always has been more than that, but it took the deal with cabeswater for them (including adam himself, with the exception of gansey, who probably always knew adam's worth) to see it.
so, that's part of the reason ronan looks at him that way.
and it's because he's always paying attention to adam now that he notices the shift and the sighing, audible since ronan turned the music down a little. ronan almost wants to ask what's eating him, but then adam asks that question and ronan shrugs. ]
I was thinking the Barns. [ he flicks his gaze in adam's direction, lingering a little too long on the hand rubbing his knee. his own hand twists the knob of the gearshift. ] Unless you had someplace in mind.
[ adam could ask him to just keep driving until sunset and through the night to morning, and he would, as long as he had adam with him. ]
[ it'd be funny, sort of, if adam knew it took a supernatural event to showcase his worth. his entire life he's worked hard at showing he's worthy of... something. anything. so far it hasn't worked out all that well for him; all it's earned is fights, bruises, the loss of hearing in one ear, and a crippling sense of unworthiness.
sometimes he thinks it's getting better. that maybe this connection to cabeswater is what he needed to feel better, more secure in his standing in the world. but then other times he sees the extraordinary moving around him, like he's watching from behind a hazy glass, and that he'll never catch up.
adam's yet to let himself think that it's okay if he doesn't catch up, but goes at his own speed.
he shifts slightly in the seat, head tipping to press against the window enough so he can see glimpses of the sky between the swiftly passing streetlamps. there's a shake of his head, but he realizes a moment after he does it that ronan likely isn't looking (or maybe he was, is), and can't hear a non-verbal response. ]
No. [ where else could they go? the later it gets, the less is open in this small town. the gas station, maybe. the diner. both clear hot spot destinations... but adam's tired of smelling cars and doesn't want to deal with the bright lights and jangling country muzak piped through the speakers. so, the barns it is. ] That's fine.
[ maybe they should keep driving. just keep going and never look back. he doesn't say that, though he does think it. and maybe that speaks louder than anything he's ever said. ]
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however, he's pretty sure that whatever's going on between him and adam has less to do with ancient celtic magic and more to do with — hormones. or something. the normal, earthly laws of human attraction, even though sometimes when he looks at adam he seems anything but normal and earthly. he may have been born in the backwater with henrietta dirt under his nails, but he's so much more than that now. he always has been more than that, but it took the deal with cabeswater for them (including adam himself, with the exception of gansey, who probably always knew adam's worth) to see it.
so, that's part of the reason ronan looks at him that way.
and it's because he's always paying attention to adam now that he notices the shift and the sighing, audible since ronan turned the music down a little. ronan almost wants to ask what's eating him, but then adam asks that question and ronan shrugs. ]
I was thinking the Barns. [ he flicks his gaze in adam's direction, lingering a little too long on the hand rubbing his knee. his own hand twists the knob of the gearshift. ] Unless you had someplace in mind.
[ adam could ask him to just keep driving until sunset and through the night to morning, and he would, as long as he had adam with him. ]
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sometimes he thinks it's getting better. that maybe this connection to cabeswater is what he needed to feel better, more secure in his standing in the world. but then other times he sees the extraordinary moving around him, like he's watching from behind a hazy glass, and that he'll never catch up.
adam's yet to let himself think that it's okay if he doesn't catch up, but goes at his own speed.
he shifts slightly in the seat, head tipping to press against the window enough so he can see glimpses of the sky between the swiftly passing streetlamps. there's a shake of his head, but he realizes a moment after he does it that ronan likely isn't looking (or maybe he was, is), and can't hear a non-verbal response. ]
No. [ where else could they go? the later it gets, the less is open in this small town. the gas station, maybe. the diner. both clear hot spot destinations... but adam's tired of smelling cars and doesn't want to deal with the bright lights and jangling country muzak piped through the speakers. so, the barns it is. ] That's fine.
[ maybe they should keep driving. just keep going and never look back. he doesn't say that, though he does think it. and maybe that speaks louder than anything he's ever said. ]