[ adam's name is a warning and a prayer rolled into one. there's a surreal moment, a heartbeat, where he's not sure if he's awake or asleep, because he's had dreams just like this. but the hum of the bmw under him and the pinch of adam's teeth on his skin and the hot, adrenaline-laced blood rushing through his veins are definitely real. this is real. the car swerves slightly, just enough to be noticeable, when adam bites him. he sucks in a breath, heat pooling in his lower belly. ]
How the hell do you expect me to do that?
[ but he doesn't push adam away or tell him to stop. instead he does what he's told, eyes fixed on the road, both hands on the wheel to keep from swerving again. ]
[ this isn't what adam had meant to happen, when he leaned over and kissed ronan the first time. he'd just meant to kiss him once, just as a kind of "hello, i missed you", and then he was going to sit back in his seat and enjoy the ride. then ronan had lost control of the car, just for a second, and adam had felt like the most powerful person in the world, and he wanted to chase that feeling.
it was highly irresponsible. gansey would be aghast if he knew what adam was doing -- not that adam wanted to think about gansey knowing about anything he did with ronan, but if he did. ronan clearly couldn't keep his mind on driving when adam was just kissing him, what would he do if --
but there's no one else on the road. there's no turns, nothing they could run into. ronan will have time to correct himself if something goes wrong. so adam doesn't really feel bad about grinning against ronan's neck, then beginning to suck a mark into his neck. he loves leaving marks on ronan, though he's usually more careful about where he leaves them -- he's never left such an obvious hickey before, usually sticks to ronan's collarbones and stomach. right now, though, he's feeling adventurous and untouchable, not thinking about everyone's reactions at aglionby on monday. adam pulls back after a minute to consider the bruise he's left, then grins again. ]
Just think about how much you don't want to crash this car, [ he says, reaching over to press his hand to the front of ronan's jeans, stroking him through the denim. ]
[ this is ridiculous. it's ridiculously dangerous, and ridiculously hot. it's very possible ronan has never been more attracted to adam than in this moment, which is saying something, since most days he's so attracted to adam he feels like he might explode. gansey wouldn't approve of what they're doing in a million years. he doesn't approve of most of ronan's reckless behavior, especially when it involves adam.
but something gansey doesn't know, or willfully ignores, is that adam has a reckless streak, too; ronan just brings it out in him. where gansey is the voice of reason, ronan's the voice egging him on, telling him, get on the moving dolly, or get in the shopping cart, parrish.
now, apparently, adam's coming up with his own stunts. this one is different, more dangerous than tipping over in a shopping cart. they could get seriously hurt (gansey's voice), or they could total the car (also gansey's voice). but ronan won't. and he doesn't say what he thinks, that the reason he doesn't want to crash the car isn't because he cares about the car, but because adam's with him, and he'd never forgive himself.
the thought is fleeting, swept away as adam sucks a mark into his neck, high enough that his clothes won't cover it, hard enough that it'll still be there when they get back to monmouth, probably when they go to school on monday. the thought only makes him hotter. his head feels light, fogged over like the windows in the car would be if they... ]
Shit. [ the bmw surges forward when ronan accidentally presses too hard on the gas, slows again as he lets up, his heart hammering against his chest from the adrenaline and the endorphin rush. he squirms in his seat, unconsciously spreading his legs for adam's hand and biting his lip to ground himself. his cock throbs against adam's palm through his jeans. ]
[ adam laughs, high and excited, when ronan swears and accelerates. this is such a stupid idea, he can't believe himself -- but he doesn't care, he trusts ronan. if ronan really thought he was going to crash his dad's car, he'd push adam off and tell him to wait til they were back at st agnes. at the very least he'd pull over and they'd get in the back seat and make out back there. if ronan's letting him do this, then he still feels like he's in control, and adam doesn't have anything to worry about. ]
You're so into this, aren't you?
[ he presses his hand harder over ronan's cock, heart pounding. of all the things ronan's talked him into, the moving dolly and the shopping cart and everything before that, this is the most thrilling -- and ronan didn't even talk him into it. it feels like something ronan should have talked him into, but this time it's all adam. he kind of feels like he's going crazy, only in the best way possible. like he was never really awake before now, before he got into this car with ronan and let himself put his hands and lips all over him.
his hand stills for a moment, for just a second, and then he pulls it away entirely to unbuckle his seatbelt. after that he goes right back to ronan's pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them. adam keeps his eyes downcast, anywhere but ronan's own face, but when he looks up to check that this is okay he can't help grinning.
how is this actually a thing he's doing? how is this something he hasn't thought to do with ronan before? ]
[ he laughs, though it's really more of a gasp, and says, ] What gave it away?
[ as adam presses harder, a groan hits the back of ronan's teeth. his skull digs into the headrest, his eyes glued to the road but half-lidded, black and fever-bright beneath his lashes. on the outside, this seems like it would have ronan's name all over it, but the reality is that most days he feels lucky to be able to hold adam's hand, let alone kiss him and any of the other stuff they do. so no matter how much he may have fantasized about something like this, he wasn't going to be the one to suggest it.
but now that it's happening, he hardly knows what to do. it's probably a good thing the situation requires he do very little except sit still and keep driving. ...which is actually a lot harder than it sounds, especially when adam unbuckles his seat belt, making ronan's pulse jump—whether from panic or anticipation, he's not sure—but then adam's undoing his pants and if he had it anywhere in his mind to tell adam to stop, the thought is incinerated by the heat in his face.
when adam looks at him, grinning like the little shit that he is, ronan grins right back. another laugh works free from the knot in his chest, more breath than sound and slightly shaky. he takes one hand off the wheel and runs his fingers through adam's hair, then drags them down the back of his neck. his eyes leave the road for a second, long enough to meet adam's eyes, drop to his mouth, and return to staring straight ahead. ] You're insane, Parrish.
[ except it sounds like, where have you been all my life? ]
[ ronan says you're insane, but what adam hears is i love you. they haven't actually said that out loud yet, but sometimes he can hear it anyway, in the way ronan's voice will sometimes come out awe-struck and wondering over adam's name. honestly, adam doesn't need to hear it out loud; these moments where ronan says his name like he hung the goddamn moon are enough.
he reaches over and turns ronan's head toward him with a hand on his cheek, just long enough to kiss him and bite at his lips, before he lets him go to look back at the road. ]
Eyes on the road, [ adam reminds him, smirking, and then he turns his attention back to ronan's cock. he pulls it out of his pants, giving it a few strokes to coax it the rest of the way to hardness -- adam hadn't been wrong, ronan is really into this, he was already halfway hard. it never fails to surprise adam, just a little, just how much he enjoys this. before he and ronan had gotten their shit together, he'd never really been able to imagine himself having sex with anyone, but particularly not with boys. in general it seemed to require a willingness to be vulnerable that he just didn't think himself capable of, and with boys... adam just couldn't see it. now, with ronan hard in his hand, leaking precum and getting his fingers sticky, adam doesn't particularly want to see anything else.
he leans forward over the center console, bracing his free hand on ronan's knee, and licks a teasing stripe up the underside of ronan's cock. the power of the moment has probably gone to adam's head a little bit, and he's enjoying the opportunity to mess with ronan a little too much. there's a part of him, a rather large part, that wants to tease ronan for as long as possible, just to see him squirm and try to keep the car under control -- but mostly he just wants to suck ronan's cock. without another second of teasing, adam wraps his mouth around ronan and begins to suck. ]
[ it's not that ronan doesn't want to say i love you out loud. it's that, in his mind, he's already said it out loud in a hundred different ways. it's that he's scared, despite everything pointing to the contrary, that adam won't say it back. he's pretty sure adam knows it, but sometimes he really, really wants to say it. like right now, for instance.
fortunately, he has just enough wherewithal not to blurt it after adam kisses him and gives him that smirk, the one that makes his stomach swoop, especially when his hands are in such close proximity to his cock. it's difficult to look away after that, when he can still feel the impression of adam's teeth on his lips, but even if it weren't a matter of safety, he's compelled to keep his eyes straight ahead just because adam said so. there's not much he wouldn't do just because adam said so. sometimes it's a game, and sometimes it's the undeniable sway adam holds over him, what with ronan's heart in the palm of his hand.
and then his cock is in adam's hand, and it has pretty much the same effect. he prides himself on keeping the speed steady even as his pulse races. his breathing has sped up too, and heat zips up and down his spine, pleasure coiling tighter and tighter in the pit of him with every stroke of adam's fist. at first he thinks it's just going to be this, adam jerking him off while he tries not to crash the car, which is already a thrilling challenge, but then adam leans over and the next thing ronan feels is his tongue, and ronan swears, loudly, as he takes his foot off the gas—only because if he didn't, he might've accidentally crushed the pedal to the floor. ]
Jesus, shit, fuck.
[ if adam wanted to see him squirm, consider that wish granted. ronan doesn't fare much better when adam's whole mouth covers him and pulls him in. the breath rushes out of him as his hips jerk forward and his shoulders slide down the seat an inch. he scrambles for the threads of his control, pulling them together enough to regain the speed they lost. they didn't drop enough that he has to shift, which is good since his hand is still in adam's hair, gripping it tightly but too tightly that it hinder adam's movement. god forbid. ]
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no subject
[ adam's name is a warning and a prayer rolled into one. there's a surreal moment, a heartbeat, where he's not sure if he's awake or asleep, because he's had dreams just like this. but the hum of the bmw under him and the pinch of adam's teeth on his skin and the hot, adrenaline-laced blood rushing through his veins are definitely real. this is real. the car swerves slightly, just enough to be noticeable, when adam bites him. he sucks in a breath, heat pooling in his lower belly. ]
How the hell do you expect me to do that?
[ but he doesn't push adam away or tell him to stop. instead he does what he's told, eyes fixed on the road, both hands on the wheel to keep from swerving again. ]
no subject
it was highly irresponsible. gansey would be aghast if he knew what adam was doing -- not that adam wanted to think about gansey knowing about anything he did with ronan, but if he did. ronan clearly couldn't keep his mind on driving when adam was just kissing him, what would he do if --
but there's no one else on the road. there's no turns, nothing they could run into. ronan will have time to correct himself if something goes wrong. so adam doesn't really feel bad about grinning against ronan's neck, then beginning to suck a mark into his neck. he loves leaving marks on ronan, though he's usually more careful about where he leaves them -- he's never left such an obvious hickey before, usually sticks to ronan's collarbones and stomach. right now, though, he's feeling adventurous and untouchable, not thinking about everyone's reactions at aglionby on monday. adam pulls back after a minute to consider the bruise he's left, then grins again. ]
Just think about how much you don't want to crash this car, [ he says, reaching over to press his hand to the front of ronan's jeans, stroking him through the denim. ]
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but something gansey doesn't know, or willfully ignores, is that adam has a reckless streak, too; ronan just brings it out in him. where gansey is the voice of reason, ronan's the voice egging him on, telling him, get on the moving dolly, or get in the shopping cart, parrish.
now, apparently, adam's coming up with his own stunts. this one is different, more dangerous than tipping over in a shopping cart. they could get seriously hurt (gansey's voice), or they could total the car (also gansey's voice). but ronan won't. and he doesn't say what he thinks, that the reason he doesn't want to crash the car isn't because he cares about the car, but because adam's with him, and he'd never forgive himself.
the thought is fleeting, swept away as adam sucks a mark into his neck, high enough that his clothes won't cover it, hard enough that it'll still be there when they get back to monmouth, probably when they go to school on monday. the thought only makes him hotter. his head feels light, fogged over like the windows in the car would be if they... ]
Shit. [ the bmw surges forward when ronan accidentally presses too hard on the gas, slows again as he lets up, his heart hammering against his chest from the adrenaline and the endorphin rush. he squirms in his seat, unconsciously spreading his legs for adam's hand and biting his lip to ground himself. his cock throbs against adam's palm through his jeans. ]
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You're so into this, aren't you?
[ he presses his hand harder over ronan's cock, heart pounding. of all the things ronan's talked him into, the moving dolly and the shopping cart and everything before that, this is the most thrilling -- and ronan didn't even talk him into it. it feels like something ronan should have talked him into, but this time it's all adam. he kind of feels like he's going crazy, only in the best way possible. like he was never really awake before now, before he got into this car with ronan and let himself put his hands and lips all over him.
his hand stills for a moment, for just a second, and then he pulls it away entirely to unbuckle his seatbelt. after that he goes right back to ronan's pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them. adam keeps his eyes downcast, anywhere but ronan's own face, but when he looks up to check that this is okay he can't help grinning.
how is this actually a thing he's doing? how is this something he hasn't thought to do with ronan before? ]
no subject
[ as adam presses harder, a groan hits the back of ronan's teeth. his skull digs into the headrest, his eyes glued to the road but half-lidded, black and fever-bright beneath his lashes. on the outside, this seems like it would have ronan's name all over it, but the reality is that most days he feels lucky to be able to hold adam's hand, let alone kiss him and any of the other stuff they do. so no matter how much he may have fantasized about something like this, he wasn't going to be the one to suggest it.
but now that it's happening, he hardly knows what to do. it's probably a good thing the situation requires he do very little except sit still and keep driving. ...which is actually a lot harder than it sounds, especially when adam unbuckles his seat belt, making ronan's pulse jump—whether from panic or anticipation, he's not sure—but then adam's undoing his pants and if he had it anywhere in his mind to tell adam to stop, the thought is incinerated by the heat in his face.
when adam looks at him, grinning like the little shit that he is, ronan grins right back. another laugh works free from the knot in his chest, more breath than sound and slightly shaky. he takes one hand off the wheel and runs his fingers through adam's hair, then drags them down the back of his neck. his eyes leave the road for a second, long enough to meet adam's eyes, drop to his mouth, and return to staring straight ahead. ] You're insane, Parrish.
[ except it sounds like, where have you been all my life? ]
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he reaches over and turns ronan's head toward him with a hand on his cheek, just long enough to kiss him and bite at his lips, before he lets him go to look back at the road. ]
Eyes on the road, [ adam reminds him, smirking, and then he turns his attention back to ronan's cock. he pulls it out of his pants, giving it a few strokes to coax it the rest of the way to hardness -- adam hadn't been wrong, ronan is really into this, he was already halfway hard. it never fails to surprise adam, just a little, just how much he enjoys this. before he and ronan had gotten their shit together, he'd never really been able to imagine himself having sex with anyone, but particularly not with boys. in general it seemed to require a willingness to be vulnerable that he just didn't think himself capable of, and with boys... adam just couldn't see it. now, with ronan hard in his hand, leaking precum and getting his fingers sticky, adam doesn't particularly want to see anything else.
he leans forward over the center console, bracing his free hand on ronan's knee, and licks a teasing stripe up the underside of ronan's cock. the power of the moment has probably gone to adam's head a little bit, and he's enjoying the opportunity to mess with ronan a little too much. there's a part of him, a rather large part, that wants to tease ronan for as long as possible, just to see him squirm and try to keep the car under control -- but mostly he just wants to suck ronan's cock. without another second of teasing, adam wraps his mouth around ronan and begins to suck. ]
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fortunately, he has just enough wherewithal not to blurt it after adam kisses him and gives him that smirk, the one that makes his stomach swoop, especially when his hands are in such close proximity to his cock. it's difficult to look away after that, when he can still feel the impression of adam's teeth on his lips, but even if it weren't a matter of safety, he's compelled to keep his eyes straight ahead just because adam said so. there's not much he wouldn't do just because adam said so. sometimes it's a game, and sometimes it's the undeniable sway adam holds over him, what with ronan's heart in the palm of his hand.
and then his cock is in adam's hand, and it has pretty much the same effect. he prides himself on keeping the speed steady even as his pulse races. his breathing has sped up too, and heat zips up and down his spine, pleasure coiling tighter and tighter in the pit of him with every stroke of adam's fist. at first he thinks it's just going to be this, adam jerking him off while he tries not to crash the car, which is already a thrilling challenge, but then adam leans over and the next thing ronan feels is his tongue, and ronan swears, loudly, as he takes his foot off the gas—only because if he didn't, he might've accidentally crushed the pedal to the floor. ]
Jesus, shit, fuck.
[ if adam wanted to see him squirm, consider that wish granted. ronan doesn't fare much better when adam's whole mouth covers him and pulls him in. the breath rushes out of him as his hips jerk forward and his shoulders slide down the seat an inch. he scrambles for the threads of his control, pulling them together enough to regain the speed they lost. they didn't drop enough that he has to shift, which is good since his hand is still in adam's hair, gripping it tightly but too tightly that it hinder adam's movement. god forbid. ]